Well, it may seem that I have nothing ot say for about a month then whammo- many blogs in one night bt sometimes the time just comes that i feel like writing. tonight is the night.
It was a year ago this yesterday my little Brockman and I were going to the minor Er to get what I thought was a Z-pac for his, what I thougth, ear infection. As you know, when we got there, his Blood Oxygen rate was a 79 and they sent me directly to the hospital. I guess at that number a shut down of th ebody is soon to come?? I was in old sweats, had dropped Emma off with my mom wtih the plans to get her after the quick trip to the Dr, and Brock had not really appeared that bad off that morning. After we were in teh Er for about an hour, they admitted him with at 105 +temp. I will never forget the nurses pulling off his clothes and saying they dont really care to finish taking his time bc it was too high no matter what. They put him under the tent and we got to be there for the next 2 days, but he was just getting worse. I remember Dennom and I being in shock that our precious little son could be that sick in what felt like a matter of hours. Brock and I then got to ride in the ambulance to the OU med center to their PICU. Unless you have been there, you can not prepare yourself to be living in that type of situation. My precious son's little personality just shinned throughout the ambulance ride. Sick as he was, he rode laying on top of me the entire way there. I remember that my dad and Dennom were in the red pickup trick that we could see out of the ambulance window the entire way there. Brock would every once in a while, wave out the window to daddy and papa. He asked the poor lady 100 questions on the ride there. She was so sweet and answered every question. OU PICe was a long 5 days stay. We encoutered some horrible people. It takes a lot for me to write that, but one student nurse tried to put the IV in Brocks hand when we got there. I won't go into detail, but he should be anything but a nurse. After that horrible experience, I can truely say Brock was truely cared after. He did not eat for about 7 days. We finally got moved to a room. It was amazing to see the love of people pour out. Someone sent us a Christmas tree for our room, our insurance agents send us a huge basket of food adn gift cards, and we got many phonecalls checkign up on our little champ. He got to meet 3 olympic medalists, which was fun to watch them on TV this summer. I remember Brock holding the metal and telling the guys, "thanks" for the metal. They laughed and had to explain he could just look at it. He did not like that. His first thing to eat- I will never forget was room ordered Mickey mouse shaped pancakes. To see my little tank eat was just a gift. Lifeless is not how I ever what to see Brock again. I think of him as a little Jennifer clone, so high energy, easily distractable, but none of that was going on there. He did not even want to watch Diego. Slowly he got his strenght back to where he ate 2 times in a day. Funny to say that now, but it was sure a big deal when he ate 2 meals in a row. I remember the Dr. telling us we could not leave until his Blood ox level was over 90 for 24 hours. Every night, he struggled and it would dip to 85 and they would put the ox back on his little face. WE started having the life specialist come by to our room. Due to the highly contagious manner of RSV, everyone who came in our room had to wear the cute yellow masks, suits, and change them every time they came it. He was not allowed to go to the playroom on the unit bc of that. She brought us paints and he LOVED doing that. WE had about 20 paintings fo red blobs. I hung every one of them in his room. When you wallked in, it was a little Christmas wonderland with the tree, cards, adn the multiplastered wall of red painted "christmas trees". WE made the best of a really tough situation and made memories. I will never forget that 10th day when I was just feeling like we may have christmas in the hospital, the whole team of about 7 dr adn interns, came in and said we could go home. WOW. I will never for get when they came in and took the IV off Brock. He had not been allowed to be free of the IV, Oxygen, and respirator cord for 10 days adn as a 2 year old, that was not easy. He ran across the floor like a baby deer. His legs were so wobble, and his skin so pale, bt we didn't care. He was going home. We had not got to see Emma for 10 days and that car ride home could not have been any longer. Nana and Emma had a welcome home baner for us and we all sat down and ate Chili as a family. It felt so sureal. I remember it as it was yesterday.
I feel like it is so important for me to blog this because so many kids did not go home that day. WE met a family that checked in the day we did and had a little one with headackes. They found out it was a brain tumor. They did not go home. Their long road was just starting. I never want to forget how precious life is. I know it may sound so silly, but we really never know what tomorrow will bring. If I ever get to a place that I put other things above time with my family, I pray GOD brings people, or even my own words to make me realize that what has been given can be taken so quickly. In this holiday season, I guarantee that I have embraced every day of these past two weeks, more so than I think I would have not going through last years hopsital stay. I look at those two sets of eyes looking into the christmas tree lights and I just almost could cry. We are home, healthy, and blessed. Tantrums-yes, gained weight this year-yes, dishes and laundry-oh my yes-, but 2 healthy-breathing-precious-loving-living-children. YES!! GOd bless those this Christmas season who are spending their month in the hopsital. Give them strenght and courage to face what lies ahead of them. Merry Christmas.
